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Monday, July 14, 2014

Willow

Willow was one of the very first fantasy films to reach the big screen; so it is little surprise that it wasn't very good, and didn't do well.
To say all the problems in one go: The plot is thin, the main actor isn't very good, there are a lot of contrivances, some just flat out stupid or silly moments that were wholly unnecessary, and generally poor writing.

As an example of the poor writing, one of the minor characters, who was supposed to be a friendly rival to the supporting male swordsman, is killed during the final battle. Now, the important thing is he gets some last words; any semi-important main character gets some last words, especially if they are a hero. Here is the expected final words:
"You always did say you'd live long past me..."
And here is what we got in the film:
"Win this war for me?"
... The problem with that is that the last words are very impersonal; he could say that to a kitten and it'd have just as much personal impact as saying it to a human being. Be only slightly sillier too.

And that's the film; if everything given was a two choice road, they chose every single wrong turn. They eventually got where they were going, after circling around the earth and trudging through mud.

First, there is Warrick Davis as the lead actor. He is passable, but is probably the weakest part of the film, despite being the titular main character. Storywise, he's as much of "the load" as the baby (I'll get to that in a minute). He doesn't really participate in the fights, and is pretty useless when he does. He is given magic acorns in the beginning which are supposed to turn people he throws them at to stone, and they turn out o be a complete waste of time, as, while they do work, it turns out to be utterly ineffective. He ultimately does nothing important for the story; every single act that could be attributed to him, could easily be contributed ot another. Good witch needing to be human? she finally finds the right counter spell. Villain spilling her magic juices and dying? Honestly tripping on her robes would cause that. The story is called "Willow" It should be about Willow, the audience should care more about him than the supporting characters. This is a problem with the writing and casting. Warrick Davis plays it fairly bland, and the role is fairly bland. So it is technically a perfect fit, but that shouldn't have been the end goal.

Though I should jump onto the issue of the macguffin of the film, a baby. A baby is a very, very bad idea for a macguffin, if for no other reason than it begging the question "WHEN DID THEY LAST FEED THE BABY?!"
In the end, the fact it was a baby turned out to be entirely pointless. The macguffin could've been a goblet and it would've had as much impact on the plot as the baby; and the goblet might make more sense.
We are told there is a prophecy that a baby will bring about the doom of an evil queen. We are never told how though; it's not like they say "the baby will touch the queen and she will then die", it's more vague. In the end, it's less that the baby caused her destruction, more that her attempts to avoid the prophecy caused it. That or the fact she bothered with a ritual, instead of the obvious option, which would be: Once you find the baby, kill it.
With something solid and magical in nature, like a goblet or a tome, a ritual makes sense; and the macguffin would not require upkeep. and it'd be an actual prophecy, instead of a self fulfilling one.

The entire film is just made up of poor decisions; from casting, to writing, directing, acting...
Honestly the only thing that works is the brownies, and they are purely comic relief. I liked them mostly because they seemed like the Frenchmen from Monty Python's Holy Grail. They were silly, but were honest with their silliness, they were not at all attempting to be serious with them, and that is perfectly fine.



I realize I'm picking on a film 26 years old, but I do it for one reason: Hollywood loves presold ideas, and is on a remake kick. Willow is a property that can be made very well today with the right changes. We have better special effects, better costume and set design, better fight choreography, better dramatic and comedic writing... It is very possible to take a not well known fantasy film, and make it appeal to the current Lord of the Rings fan-crowd. It doesn't need a Lord of the Rings budget, it just needs to pick the right choices.

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