One Piece- Unlimited Adventure

It's a little hard to talk about this one... I'll explain the basis first, so those of you who don't know about One Piece can sort of catch up.

     One Piece is a Manga series that follows the adventure of the Straw Hat crew of pirates as they quest to accomplish their dreams.

The Crew

In the crew there is Monkey D. Luffy (written and spelled that way, but since it is from Japan, his name is actually Luffy) a man who ate a devil fruit strain called the gumgum fruit, which made him a rubber man, but took away his ability to swim. Luffy is the captain of the straw hats, but really only by title, considering he doesn't do much to lead them beyond motivation and power. Luffy is hunting for a treasure called One Piece to become king of the pirates.
     There is also Zoro (not the one you're thinking of. This one wields three swords and has green hair. He is called Zolo in the 4kids dud of the show, probably to avoid copyright.) He mostly came along with Luffy because he saved his life, and because he wants to become the world's best swordsmen.
     Then there is Nami, a master thief and navigator. She loves money, even though she is technically free from her need to collect it (story arc near the beginning of the series, I shall not spoil it.). She has weapons that allow her to manipulate the air around her, creating small thunderclouds.
     Then there is the "second in command" Usopp, a master marksman... with a slingshot. He's a joke character.
     Next, the chef, Sanji, a ladies man and rival to Zoro (the two don't get along, they aren't rivals in swords in the slightest) who is of the school of thought that a chef mustn't use his hands to fight, and instead uses incredibly strong kicks.
     There is then Chopper, a reindeer that ate a devil fruit that allows him to move along the sliding scale of anthropomorphism. He is normally in a tiny reindeer-chibi-human form, that has increased intelligence. He is the ship's doctor.
     Next there is Nico Robin (and this is at the point where I don't know the characters as much. I watched mostly the 4kids dub (surprise, I was it's target demographic.) and later the funimation dub on Toonami. When One Piece was canceled, it was at the Skypeia arc, meaning that I do not know the story of Robin, Franky, Brooks... or any other character that is a part of the crew now. I know the basis, but that's it.) Nico Robin ate a devil fruit that allows her to sprout arms and hands from any location (I do mean any location) and control them.
     Lastly, (at least where the game is concerned, there are more that were added later.) there is Frankie, a cyborg Shipwright surfer dude.

The Story

     Because this game was actually made for the fans of the series, it assumes that you've seen it or read it enough to understand everything. So the story is actually much larger than what is contained in the game... Except the game may be non-canon. Non-canon means that the story that takes place does not actually occur in the story proper. It's like a "what-if?" scenario.
     The story in the game itself is this: The straw hat crew land on a strange island. Luffy finds a magic orb that allows him to open seals on certain parts of the island. The seals are protected by magic, which takes an enemy (or ally) from the straw hat's memory, and brings it to life to stop the seal from being destroyed. These seals are what keeps a gate deep underground shut, to keep an evil from escaping and endangering the world. After the straw hats break all the seals, they defeat this evil, saving the island. Then when they leave, the island changes into a lush paradise in the shape of Saturn.
     Pretty simple story, but it doesn't really need to be longer and more complex... I managed to get over 80 hours on it, simply trying to collect things. The actual story, if you try to avoid unnecessary delays, might take 5-20 hours on average. But, being a Japanese adventure game, beating the final boss is only 50% of the total game. To get the other 50%, you need to beat the optional bosses, beat all the bosses again (including the optional ones), build everything, collect every bug and fish (the bugs are insanely hard. While the fish you can try over and over again, certain bugs only appear in one spot, and if you get too close they run away, and only come back if you leave the zone and re-enter, making getting the super rare bugs a real chore.) Adding more story would've just felt like padding.

The Gameplay

     The gamepaly in One Piece: Unlimited Adventure is pretty simple: it's a brawler, meaning you press different buttons to do different attacks to beat enemies. However, the game does make pretty good use of the fact it is one the Wii. Certain moves involve shaking the Wii Remote (you don't have to aim it though, thankfully.), and items like the pickaxe, fishing rod, and bug net all make use of the motion sensing function of the Wii remote (some more accurate than others, but it is somewhat forgivable.)
     Every attack you use in the game has a level. You simply have to use them on enemies to level them up, and as they level up you get more abilities and they become stronger, up to the max level, 10.
     Your health points and your Special points (used in special moves, and when dashing) are leveled up through cooking. You gather ingredients to make dishes, cook them, and then give them to the character of your choosing. You can level up your favorite to an unstoppable level (though if they die you are SOL) or divvy out the food equally to make them all stronger.
     At the camp, you can cook, make medicine, build tools (and improve on existing ones) save, and store items (some problems with that, but I'll bring it up later).
     The final thing of note about the gameplay: the enemies. The enemies are quite diverse, each with their own abilities to attack you with and cause damage. There is a good range of enemies, from weak to severely strong, and some that are rather broken. The best thing however is that every enemy can be identified by it's silhouette. You can easily tell at a glance what type of enemy you are facing, and know what strategy to use to beat them.
     The bosses are also fantastic as well. It's a bit like playing an All-star game, as all the enemies are recognizable characters from One Piece. They fight like they did in the books/show, and are fun while also being challenging (except one... but he was just really annoying.)

But now... the bad.

Problems

     The game is a collectathon. Meaning, through out the game you're going to be collecting a lot of items. Problem is, you have a limited inventory space. But, you have a storage at the camp, surely that can hold everything right? Nope, the storage is just as large as your inventory, and is actually 9 spaces smaller (active item slots. You have them, the chest does not). So while you have to collect a lot of stuff to cook, make medicene, and build items... you can't hold a lot. meaning that instead of going on a long and grand adventure, ending in a calming period of making the crew stronger and preparing for the next adventure... You're constantly running from zones back to the camp to clear out your inventory to make room for more stuff, only to find that an item you needed you dropped or were unable to pick up because you needed room in your inventory. Worse, items have stacks. This isn't terrible, as some items stack to quite high numbers... But items like bugs and fish do not stack, and thus take up a space in your inventory for every one you catch.

     Speaking of bugs, the bug catching is insanely annoying. You have a very narrow range for catching bugs in, and if you miss, the bug flies off. If you get too close, the bug flies off. If you make noise by rustling leaves when trying to inch closer to the bug, the bug flies off. This is incredibly annoying. It should've been that the bugs are flying around an area of the zone, and to catch them you just have to find them, chase them down, and catch them. As it stands, catching bugs is like one of Dante's levels of hell!

     Navigation is also a big problem... There is no minimap to help you navigate, so you're stuck pausing every few seconds to look at the map to figure out where you are. It is pretty much impossible to memorize every bit of a map. Even in the one map I traversed so much I did map it out in my head (Fossil Beach) I would still find things I didn't remember! The zones are a bit like the designers let a monkey draw on a chalkboard, and used it's scribbles to make a map. (The zones are beautiful though. Hard to navigate, but beautiful.)

      One last thing. This is more of a nit pick, but it is a concern: Enemy health. You never have any idea how much you've damaged an enemy. You don't know if they are near death or far from it. The reason this matters is that after using certain attacks listed to the side, you get something called a break, which when used on an enemy, sends them flying. If they survive the attack, nothing happens because of the break. But, if they are defeated, they drop health and SP balls, which helps to extend the fight and the adventure. But, this is hit or miss, considering you never know if an enemy is near death, or if using the break on them would be a waste.

But, beyond those concerns... It is a good game. If you manage to get past the bug catching, the collecting, the navigation, and lack of enemy health bars, this game is a load of fun. You could probably just spend hours fighting enemies!

I fully recommend this game for One Piece fans, but I do also recommend it to people who might want to get into one piece, as the game does at least try to make entrance for newcomers easy.

This has been Fixer Sue with the first Game review.

Oh, I forgot... There is a two player mode, where you can play as any character/enemy/boss and fight your friends, with the same combo system. Wasn't necessary, but good addition!

Tarzan

What can I say about Disney's Tarzan...
Not much actually. It's not a perfect film, but it is fine as is. It meets the expectations set before it, and doesn't really go beyond them. It has it's flaws sure, but none that particularly break the movie.
If Disney ever allows Tarzan on Netflix or Hulu plus, give it a watch. You probably won't love it, but you will at least enjoy it.


This has been Fixer Sue, pretty much adding nothing of interest.

Hercules

     Have you ever heard the phrase "guilty pleasure?"

     It basically means that you know something is bad for you, and you feel guilty about it, but you enjoy it anyway.

     The crux of that phrase is that you have to feel guilty about what you're enjoying.

     I have loved Hercules since I was a little kid, and it ranks as my number one Disney film (not including Pixar). Now, it has somewhat poor reviews, due in part to several things: One, the accuracy to the myth. Two, the song choice. And three, the main character. Only one of those three requires a bit of repair, but the other two... They are perfectly fine.

So, let's go over them.

Accuracy

     One problem people have with the film is that it is not accurate to the myth, so much so that the movie is banned in Greece for "falsely representing (Greece's) history." But, the inaccuracy isn't a bad thing

     The accuracy to the original myth deviates immediately at the beginning of the film. The titans are no longer the sons and daughters of Gaia and Uranus, but has been replaced with Elementals representing disasters (earthquakes, volcanos, tornadoes, ice age/winters) and a cyclops (actually one of Gaia and Uranus's children banished to Tartarus for being ugly). Honestly, that sounds more interesting than Hyperion and his lot, since it is gods versus the elements, instead of a bunch of gods fighting each other.

     The second change, is that Hercules is no longer a roid-raging wife and child killer. Now he's a fallen god because Hades (who is actually Zeus's brother, and an ally of Hercules in the myth) wanted to take over Olympus and was told that if Hercules fought he'd lose. And as a fallen god, he is on a quest to restore his god-hood by becoming a true hero (which pretty much means just risk your life for those you love. Or perform necromancy, the Greeks were weird so it could go either way). Again, more interesting, because our protagonist doesn't start out with our hatred for killing his wife and children.

     The plot then follows Hercules as he tries to become a true hero. All his trials are reduced to monsters being sent by Hades to kill him, which only serve to prop him up as a bigger hero. (And actually if Hades had done the smart thing... Like quietly poison him in his sleep, or just not send monsters after him, Hercules wouldn't have been as much of a threat.) While the trials are downgraded (He mentions fighting a gorgon, which = Medusa, and he should've been turned to stone for looking at her, yet he is unaffected.) one is elevated, making one of the best scenes in the movie in my opinion: The Hydra battle. If they had followed the myth, the hydra would've been much smaller than Hercules, with the difficulty in defeating it being the growing of the heads, which is rather boring, like watching a guy try to solve a Rubik's cube for a couple hours. In the film, the hydra is massive, and could crush Hercules just as easily as eat him, which makes it much more awesome. Deviations from the original aren't bad.

     People take umbrage with these changes, like other works Disney has adapted to animation. They always claim that it is "dumbing it down" or making it "kid-friendly."

     Yeah, what else would you expect them to do? You expect them to have the protagonist bloodily murder his family? If you want an accurate portrayal, the history channel probably did a show on the Trials of Hercules. But, you are not going to get an accurate portrayal from a kids company.

     Here's the thing: They are not in the business of accuracy. They are in the business of money. An R rating on an animated movie won't sell a lot of tickets (except for the oblivious demographic). So the story will change to get a lower rating, with other changes included to interest children and therefore families.

     Personally, I prefer this version. Yes it isn't accurate in the slightest, but it is entertainment. You aren't watching a movie to see if they got the mythos right, you're watching for fun. So what makes accuracy = fun to people?

The Song Choice

     Admit it, you liked the songs.

     There is nothing wrong with the songs. They are all very memorable, and very, very good. Hell, the movie would translate well to a small-theatre musical given the style of music.

     Thing is, people consider it "out of place." They think that Gospel music doesn't fit well... It makes sense to me:

1. "Gospel" is a term from Greek plays, as is the term "Greek Chorus" which is a group of people who comment on the collective action in one voice.
2. The film contains a lot of the Religion of Greece, and Gospel is religious music. Sure it is Christian religious music, but it is still a style of singing.

     It is rather clever. Also, there isn't really any alternative that would make sense. I can scarcely imagine Hercules with Pop, or rap (it did exist back in the '90's), or rock... Hercules actually might've been worse without the gospel.

The Main Character

     Now this is the real problem with Hercules... It is Hercules himself.
     He's dull. He's actually a pretty good example of a Mary Sue. He's super strong, really nice, is able to save the gods from the villains when they can't save themselves (you know, being gods and all), breaks his deal with the villain at the end (where it isn't actually the villain trying to do anything evil, he's just doing his job, with equivalent exchange being a factor as well), and performs necromancy on a body at least two to three hours dead (Why does necromancy keep popping up in all these kids movies?). And through all that, we are expected to like him because he is the hero.
     Here is Hercule's personality: He is a wide-eyed idealist country boy who wants to prove himself. Riveting...

Look, there is nothing wrong with that personality per say... Take this example:

     This is Applejack. (Yes she's a pony. Ignore that, we are focusing on character here.) She shares many traits of Hercules: She's strong, nice, friendly, and is also a simple farm girl. The difference is that she has some draw backs to her personality. She's stubborn and prideful for starters, to the point where it sometimes endangers her and those around her. Not to mention, she does get rather short with her friends when they insult her or she thinks they have, but she is loyal to them all the same. She is also a terrible liar.

     So what do we take from the comparison between Applejack and Hercules? Hercules has no flaws. He is dull because he has no drawbacks. He only gets mad once in the entire movie, and it is at the one time where him being mad is actually in the wrong, meaning he has two moods: Happy, and depressed. He spends the entire movie in one of those two.
     So, to start repairing Hercules, we must make him mad at some point. And I choose this point:

     In the climax, Hercules faces off with the Cyclops, who is destroying the city. Instead of being depressed about Meg, he should be angry that the Cyclops is killing people he's supposed to be protecting. At this point, he made a deal with Hades that sapped his strength. So what better than to make Hercules a badass by defeating the Cyclops without his strength?
     That leads into the next point of repairing Hercules: Make him smart. He shows a little bit of this in how he will check the math of other people, but that disappears after the training sequence. He needs to be either book smart, or strategy smart, and use that in battle. In the battle with the Cyclops, he should be leading the Cyclops away from the city, where he can no longer hurt people, and then use his head to figure out how to bring him down. That'd make him show compassion for the civilians he is saving (since in the rest of the movie it seems like he only cares about proving that he's a true hero), as well as showing that he is still a hero without being strong.
     But that leads to a third point: Strength consistency. Hercules's strength varies throughout the film. One moment he can lift a rock that probably weighs more than 10 cars, and another he cannot cave in a centaur's skull with a couple punches. He's just as strong in the beginning as he is later (maybe a little stronger), but in the beginning he is a little clumsy. Have him retain that, let him be a little clumsy, accidentally destroy some chairs or something. It is good comedy fodder to have someone who is clumsy be super strong.
     To quickly come back to the Hercules and Applejack comparison... The reason why people love Applejack, is because she's fun. She's a joy to watch, and the comedy that comes form her character is fun to watch as well. Hercules doesn't get very many good lines, and is almost never funny, making him less fun to watch.


So, I shall quickly sum up the changes needed to make Hercules a true protagonist: the ability to feel anger, the desire to protect the citizenry, a brain, some nerve... and some clumsyness. We want to root for our hero because they are badass, or because we like to watch them. Just being the protagonist isn't enough.




Hercules is a good movie. I only wish that I could go back in time to talk to the screen writers, and tell them what they need to do for Hercules...


And no, that is not a waste of a time machine. Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act was put into time-law for a reason people!
This has been Fixer Sue! And remember, don't mess with the time stream!

Treasure Planet

I've been holding off on this review for a little while... It was actually supposed to be reviewed right after Halo: Legends, but it had to be pushed back... If only so that it didn't look like I was going to start a trend of walking out on movies.


      Treasure Planet was created by Disney in the early 2000's, actually before Lilo And Stitch. The film was an attempt to blend 3D rendered images with 2D animation seamlessly. It works on an art level, as everything looks amazing (if you can stand the color. Real is brown indeed...). But on a story level, Treasure Planet falls flat. It is very predictable, with very weak characterization stacked on top of a poor plot.


     There are times where there is no real way to improve a movie... No big changes, nothing odd like turning all the characters into snakes to give it a different feel... It just comes down to this: Disney shouldn't have made Treasure Planet. They should have made Treasure Island, the book it was based on.
      I have not read Treasure Island personally, but I do know about the laws of genres. In a science fiction movie like Treasure Planet, you must explain how things work. You need to tell us why they are using wooden ships with sails when they could make UFO's. You need to explain why they can breathe on something that by definition is open to the vacuum of space. You also need to explain why the rope doesn't burn up on entry to a planet, how the deck of the ship can get dirty in a place that lacks dirt (they have the main character mop the ship. This only makes sense on a boat-like ship. You don't see any guys mopping the floors of the enterprise), and why on earth do we have dog-men and cat-women alongside alien blobs of gelatinous mass and mini rock-biters in formal regalia, and not talk about humans met and allied with them?! The cat people I understand, as they are fairly human-like, but we are terrified of Cthulhu and beings like him, yet we will ally with the blobs from Jimmy Neutron? None of these questions would come up, if they had simply made Treasure Island. 
     In pirate stories, we do not need to question anything. You can tell us they are going to fight the Loch Ness Monster, and we would believe that without any explanation needed. This is because we understand the background... It takes place in our world, with our laws of physics. Everything Treasure Planet wants us to accept, we'd accept without explanation if it took place on earth.
     Now, I can't account for the characters in Treasure Island, but I am willing to bet the characters are better in it, if only because there is no real form of law enforcement to get in trouble with in a pirate setting, meaning the main character could do some bad things but not be a delinquent.




This was a brief Fixer Sue. You may now resume looking at videos of cats doing cute things.

The Secret of NiHM

     I'm treading some dark water here... This movie is beloved by so many, it was nominated for the American Film Institute's top 10 animated films list... But there is so much wrong here...
     The animation is great, know that. It was made by Don Bluth after he left Disney, and the animation is phenomenal.  A lot of the characters are good too, with Mrs. Brisby probably being one of the best female characters in an animated movie, being brave while also scared at the same time, doing all she is for her children. (Unfortunately, She doesn't have a name of her own, only Mrs. Jonathan Brisby. I'll cover that later.)
     Going into the film, I expected it to be astounding, and I expected to love it... But there are flaws that I cannot overlook...

     As a reminder: The blog's title, Fixer Sue, means I fix perceived problems, and if you disagree with me I'm just a Sue.

The Pacing

     The pace of the movie is abysmal. The first thirty-forty minutes of the movie could be condensed down to 10. Here are the events that occurred:

• Mrs. Brisby gets some medicine for her son Timmy who has pneumonia.
• Mrs. Brisby frees Jeremy the crow from some string, and is chased by a cat.
• Mrs. Brisby gives Timmy the medicine.
• Mrs. Brisby's family needs to evacuate, because the plow has come early this year.
• Ms. Shrew and Brisby break the tractor, buying them some time.
• Mrs. Brisby goes to see the great owl, who informs her to seek the rats of NiHM. (This could be skipped...)
• Mrs. Brisby then goes to the rats of NiHM.

     7 events (could be six) that take up half of the movie's running time. The pace is slow and boring... You spend that time waiting for something to happen. Some action occurs, but it is over very quickly and left an empty feeling.

     The second 40 minutes isn't much better either. It could be shortened to maybe 20 minutes, since only these events occur:

• Introduced to Jenner, who wants to stay in the rose bush. The rats are arguing over moving to Thorn Valley. At the same time, the rats agree to move Brisby's house (later section).
• Mrs. Brisby meets Nicodemus, who gives the backstory of the rats of NiHM, and gives Brisby a Deus Ex Machina.
• Brisby drugs the cat, is captured, and thus overhears that NiHM is coming to kill the rats.
• Nicodemus is killed by Jenner, and the moving of Brisby's house fails.
• Jenner is killed by Justin (captain of the guard) and Jenner's accomplice (no name given/remembered).
• Brisby's home sinks, but because the stone takes pity on Brisby's sorrow, the stone makes Brisby a jedi and she moves her house through "Da Magiks."

     This movie has very few important events. It could be shortened to 30 minutes, the running time of a TV show without commercials.

     Now, don't assume me as some impatient child who wants to see robots and explosions. I can take long scenes, especially when they focus on a character I like, like Mrs. Brisby. But what I can't take are really long scenes featuring unnecessary comedy from Jeremy the crow. Watching Jeremy is like watching Jarjar Binks from Star Wars episode 1; his scenes are far too long, and can be cut down a lot without losing anything. Same thing with the scenes featuring the children and Ms. Shrew. Cut them, and you lose almost nothing.

     If you want a full movie run time, do it another way. Give more depth to the rats, as the item spent with them is the best part of the movie. Explore their politics more, or show their escape in full, instead of just the important points. Anything is better than padding with Jeremy Binks.

Mrs. Jonathan Brisby

     If Mrs. Brisby wasn't the widow of Jonathan Brisby, she wouldn't have gotten help. If she was just a normal, no-name mouse, they would have ignored her plea.

     In the epilogue of the sequel, Mrs. Brisby is mentioned as Jonathan's Widow, and not much else. A fact fans of the original detest. But, the problem is, Brisby would've failed if it wasn't for her name. Thus everything she does, even of her own will, is actually thanks to her dead husband.

     She needs her own identity, and people need to help her because they like her, not because of who she married. Give her a first name, (can be Maria Brisby, or Jenny Brisby since the story loves the letter J so much) and make it so that people grow to like her before they learn she is Mrs. Brisby.

     Brisby is already a good character, she just needs to be more of her own, without the shadow of her dead husband looming over her.

The Anchor

     The entire plot of the movie relies on one thing... Timmy, Mrs. Brisby's son, is sick. So he needs to stay in bed and not go outside else he'll die...

     So instead of finding a way to move Timmy without killing him, they opt to move the house.

...

     They are afraid that the chill in the air will kill him. But, they could just wrap him up tightly and transport him away gently. They could build a caravan wagon and pull him away while he is able to sleep. Timmy acts as a very poor anchor to their cinder block house.

     Worse, they opt to move the house by lifting it up into the air, causing everything to shake... That can't be good for a sick child.

     Here's a better idea: The medicine that Mr. Ages (another mouse, met at the beginning) doesn't work, and Timmy is starting to take a turn for the worse. So Mrs. Brisby goes to the rats for a cure. They agree, and in exchange she helps them with their move to thorn valley, and decides to move with them once Timmy is better. 

     Thing is, that is the plot I thought the movie had when I was going into it... Imagine my surprise when I found out that that the plot was that they needed to move their house.

The Secret of NiHM is a decent movie... It has fantastic animation, one of the best female leads in animation... But the story, the pacing, and the plot devices bog it down, and make it unfun to watch...

Now, while I doubt many people read these blogs, I want to remind anyone who read this in the future... This is the opinion of a Fixer Sue. My opinion does not mean you're wrong if you disagree with me. 

This has been Fixer Sue.

Lilo and Stitch

     Ahhh Disney... what has happened to your 2D animation department? For decades you were regarded as the #1 in animation. Then you made Home on the Range.
     But, one year before Disney's 2D animation department disappeared into the void (for about 5 years) they made Lilo and Stitch.
     Lilo and Stitch tells the story of Stitch, a genetic experiment created by an evil genius, who lands in Hawaii and finds a family in Lilo and her sister Nani, who are in trouble with Child Services. The movie is fantastic. It is sad, funny, well animated, and quite well written. It has it's flaws, just like any other film, but they can be overlooked fairly easily. It ranks up there with many other Disney classics, and is one of my favorite Disney films.



     However, this blog isn't about overlooking the problems... It is about addressing them and fixing them.
While the film is great as-is, it isn't perfect. But the problems it does have, can easily be repaired...

Aliens and Poor Memory

     The first scene in the film introduces us to the galactic federation, and they are holding a trial for Professor Jumba, who is the head of their science division. They are accusing him of Genetic Experimentation... I'll come back to genetic experimentation in a bit. They introduce Stitch as evidence to his crime, and Jumba lists off how he is super strong and super smart.

     Naturally, the Galactic Counsel locks Jumba up, and is taking Stitch to be exiled. However, Stitch escapes, and crash lands on Earth.

     This is where the aliens start to not make as much sense. When they find out Stitch is going to land on Earth, the counsel woman calls for an expert on the planet... The problem is, by the end, not only does the counsel woman know about Earth, she actually had dealings in the past with a CIA agent that convinced her that Earth needed to live because Mosquitoes are an endangered species...

     First off, we have a lot of endangered species. The Mosquito is a very poor choice for an argument to save the planet. Second, while they outlaw genetic experimentation, it is a reality to them... Which also means that they likely have cloning, so they could just take one sample of the endangered race, clone it, and the species is no longer endangered.

     But, because a tiny bug that is a complete annoyance and also spreads disease is "endangered" the aliens can't destroy the planet to get rid of the experiment. (They weer going to exile it, why would being on a populated (or at the very least habitable) planet make them decide that the planet needs to die?)

     They also decide that going in in-force would cause a panic, so they decide on a stealth extraction team... Made up of an expert on the planet and the scientist that made the monster. The two would be better off as advisers to the actual extraction team, not as the people actually going to extract Stitch.

     Thus Jumba and the earth expert, Pleakly, go to Earth to capture Stitch... And are forced into stealth by Stitch being adopted by Lilo, a little human girl, who is a part of the mosquito food chain...

     There are a lot of humans on earth. Mosquitoes don't need one little girl. If the experiment isn't worth the loss of one human, then it isn't worth it at all.

     But, later, when a stealth extraction proves to be too slow for the counsel woman, she sends a giant land-shark guy to take Stitch by force... Yeah, that won't cause a violent panic among the humans...

     Thus the problem with the Aliens: their motivations for a stealth mission make no sense, and they have poor memory of events. (The counsel woman forgot that she actually talked with a CIA agent about endangered mosquitoes, she forgot that she sent a stealth extraction team to be stealthy...) So the aliens need a different motivation for not going all out in capturing Stitch.

     My recommendation: Make them choose to go with a stealth mission because humans are dangerous. Make it so that they are afraid of the humans going to war with them. Make them weak to lead, or afraid of our weapons (nuclear bombs are not something to sneeze at, even if they don't shoot plasma). This works two fold: one, they need to be stealthy so the humans don't try to kill them, and two, it gives them a reason to get stitch (so he doesn't reveal the existence of aliens.)

     The next idea brought up would be: Contact the humans, inform them that they exist, and that they are coming down peacefully to extract a dangerous monster from the planet. Sure the humans will freak out a little, but they won't declare war. Of course, the problem that would arise form this would be that humans try even harder to find habitable planets (or make them) to get out into space. They'd start to spread like wildfire and become a massive threat (think Halo, similar to how the story started there).

     As for gassing the planet... It could be stated (hell, it could even be a joke) that the gas won't affect them. It could go like this:

"Can't we just gas the planet?"

"That won't have any effect you grace."

"Why not?"

"Because everything living down there breathes the gas! They need it to live!"

"Really? They breath oxygen (says oxygen in disgust)?"

"Yeah! I know, crazy right?!"

     That would make more sense, and would also give more power to the idea that the aliens would be afraid of us.

The Stealth Team

     Now that the reasoning behind a stealth team is better, the stealth team itself needs to be better. Jumba and Pleakly are nice and all, but a galactic federation that has raptors for guards would send an actual team to remove Stitch. This team could be made up of it's own personalities, and they too could decide to help Nani retrieve Lilo near the end, but they need to be competent. They need to decide when to go after him based on how many humans are around him, not on whether or not they are fired. Jumba and Pleakly work more as advisers to them, Jumba giving hidden insight into Stitch, like that he can be knocked out with a quick blow to the head, or that scratching his back puts him to sleep. And Pleakly would be serving mostly as the guide, and captain of the team.

     Second, since the counsel woman sent in an elite team, she wouldn't need to send Gantu when Jumba and Pleakly fail... So instead have it be that Gantu thinks it is taking too long, and goes in himself. That way Gantu is a more clear villain, and not just a guy doing his job.

     On a less related note, they could decide that, even though Lilo and Nani are few enough humans that they could kill them and remove Stitch without causing a panic, they are high profile targets because of Cobra Bubbles (their Child Services guy, and former CIA agent. The one the grand counsel woman spoke with before) being attached to them. Thus they only go after Stitch when he is no longer with them, and continue pursuing him into the house (police style, checking every room and hallway) when they realize their window of opportunity is closing.

But, aside from the Aliens being incompetent and not making much sense in the film proper, Lilo and Stitch is a great film, with excellent themes of Belonging, Family, and Purpose. I fully recommend the film to animation fans and families.

Maybe not the TV series and the direct to DVD special that come after the movie, since they make the aliens even more incompetent and lay the themes of family on very thick with an extra dosage of daily Aesop (lesson) on top. The movie is great, don't bother with the auxiliary. 

This has been Fixer Sue. Have a good day. ^^

Robots, and dark unintended meanings...

Robots was created by Blue Sky productions (the same people who made Ice Age and Horton Hears a Who) in 2005. It was well received critically, and was #1 at the box office at one point. It has a somewhat predictable plot, but it actually has some very good gags that don't overstay their welcome (like a couple gags in Pixar's Brave). It also has some good adult humor to entertain parents as well as children. Robots is a very good film, and I find few faults with it, and recommend it for families and fans of animation.



... However, there is one thing I find somewhat amusing and a little disturbing about some of the jokes and gags in the film...

The Parts

First off, all the character's are humanoid robots. That is understandable, and the connections between them and humans make sense as well. The robots grow, age, procreate, and die. They have different ways of going about it, but the parallels are there.
But, there are a few things that force you to break those parallels off. For starters, after Mr and Mrs Copperbottom build their son (like ya do) the father mentions that their son has his grandmother's eyes, and his grandfather's nose. Alright, if they follow the same model of bots, that'd make sense (and we do see in one gag that the robots are models)... However, the father then says "I knew we were smart to save those parts!"
... The disturbing part isn't that the grandparents are dead, it's that they took pieces of them, kept those pieces (I assume in a jar or something, if they were on display that'd just make it even creepier) and then put those pieces onto their baby. I'm not even sure what kind of wrong that is. It isn't exactly necromancy, but it is messing around with dead organs and bringing them back to life for use.
But okay, suspension of disbelief, they are robots, maybe their parents gave those pieces to them in their will, requesting that their child use them.
Next, after a montage of the Copperbottom's raising Rodney, Mr. Copperbottom brings in a box for Rodney which he proclaims to be "his big boy parts." Okay, robots grow up by replacing parts. Not sure why they don't just skip to full height on the first growth, save money and parts, but fine, keeping the human parallel. Then we learn that the parts are hand-me downs from his cousin.
Granted, that isn't as creepy as dismantling the dead to keep parts form them, but still... Rodney is essentially equipping someone else's body. But it's from his cousin, probably the same model, upheld by how Rodney keeps the same aesthetic throughout the film despite different parts.
But then this turns for another kind of weird when Rodney gets his next on-screen set of hand-me downs... From his cousin Veronica. They are pink, they have "breasts," and he wears them throughout high school as we see in his school photo and at his graduation. While it could be understandable with the hand-me downs from his male cousins being used to upgrade Rodney, since it is possible that those parts are of his model... Veronica's parts are clearly of a different model type, and of course another gender. At that point it can't be ignored: He is wearing another person's body. One would think it would be incompatible with his model, or something along those lines, but as it turns out, all parts are completely interchangeable, and work pretty much like modding a PC. You can change the parts at will, and pretty much anything is compatible.
What's the point of gender in this universe if it can be changed on a whim and if procreation doesn't actually involve sex? I know it's difficult to think how we would refer to people without he she him her, but on more than one occasion the characters are wearing parts that are contrary to their "gender." They end up treating the parts more like clothes in these instances, like they are crossdressing, instead of like their body has changed.
They treat the parts like clothes, except when it comes to Upgrades and Spare Parts (capitals because they are the names of products, not unspecific nouns). Upgrades change the character's body, making them go from frail old man to body builder. The Spare Parts are what the robots use to keep themselves together instead of upgrading. These have visible effects on the robots, and they acknowledge the changes they make as affecting their body.
So we have a small idea of what parts are in this world:

• Parts obey the head of the robot they are attached to, and don't ever "belong" to one robot. 
• Parts are completely interchangeable.
• Upgrades can extend a robot's lifespan and have a visible effect on their strength.
• Different gender parts are compatible, and don't change the wearer's gender

... Then we have Fender who mucks about with the first rule. At one point in the movie, his head becomes detached from his body. And instead of his body collapsing since the head is detached, Fender remains in control of his body, even bickering with it.

Well, maybe this could be rewriting the rule as "Parts obey the head and torso of the Robot they are attached to."

...Except that later Fender's arms fall off, and they move on their own...

There are two options for how this is possible:

1. Fender is a zombie/skeleton, and functions just like one of them in cartoons.
2. Fender's model has AI installed into every part, and it is that AI that controls the limbs. This is proven by how the parts move on their own, and how when detached they don't obey Fender entirely. But also disproved since Fender attaches new legs later in the film, and is in control of them.

But, I suppose all of this is just suspension of disbelief. It is believable in the movie, and not really needing to be questioned. It is just strange when you think about it.

Sucks to be them

There is one thing in the movie however that does bring up issues... The main characters are robots that are like humans, but they still have a lot of the same technology we do, like watches, telephones, and fire hydrants.
The problem is, a lot of things in the world are alive. They aren't like plants, where they are alive but have no mind... Objects in the world have sentience. The fire hydrant is alive, fake watches will tell you they are fake, the telephone will try to sell you a phone plan, the street lamps can die and give last words... Were they all born into a family like Rodney? Did they go to school too?
I think another possibility is more likely.
In the film, Rodney builds a little dish washing robot. It is simple, but smart, and also easily startled and made nervous. Now, Rodney didn't get this robot in a kit, he didn't make it with a wife/husband/whathaveyou...
Rodney made it from teacups and silverware. Rodney is playing in the realm of gods, and he succeeded in creating life.
Actually a lot of people played in god's domain and succeeded, considering the fake watches have sentience just the same as the street lamp.
But it brings up a problem with them...
Rodney invented the little robot to help his father out in dish washing. Rodney basically created a slave.
But that robot Rodney made got off lightly, it can still move around freely and possibly do as it wishes when it's job is done. The same can't be said for the fire hydrant, street lamp, telephone, watches... They were all made to be stuck in one spot forever.
Sucks to be them...

The ACTUAL death panel

Early on in the introduction to robot city, we are shown the sweepers... Giant robots that collect out-mode (old and out of date) robots to be taken to the chop-shop.
The problem with this is this: The sweepers collect LIVING out-modes, and take them to be killed.
First off, how did this get approved by whatever government the robots have? They say numerous times that Ratchet (the movie's villain, who craves money) is out-moding millions of bots by cutting off Spare Parts, so we have to assume there are millions of bots that are at risk of being swept up and murdered to make upgrades for other bots.
Second, why do they need to do this at all? The robots have the ability to die, so just take them when they are dead. Conversely, robots seem to be able to extend their life by replacing parts, so it begs the question... Why does anyone need to die?

So, why did I call this section "The Actual death panel?" Because all the out-modes don't have insurance. The sweepers are murdering the poor, at the behest of a company that wishes to make money. That's a step up in villainy from building oil derricks and killing ducks named Becky. (Saved by the Bell Oil episode reference)





But besides the murder, the slavery, and the necromancy, this is a great film!

Thieves and stolen Diamonds

How many movies can you name off the top of your head where the villain is a thief trying to possess a rare and valuable item? While I'm betting a good number are bad live action movies, it seems to come up a lot doesn't it? Even some good movies like Disney's Tangled have this as at least a plot point. (A stolen crown is the motivation for one of the main characters for the first half of the movie.)
It always goes that the villain manages to steal the item from a museum and is trying to sell it to other criminals, but the hero stops and captures them.

But, have you ever really thought on this?
Let's say the item is a very large diamond.
So the thief manages to steal the diamond... Problem is, realistically, no fencer or criminal mastermind would want it because it is incredibly hot. They wouldn't even want to be near the thief who took it for fear the police would follow the thief to them. Meaning, to the thief, the diamond is worthless.

That is the flaw in this whole plot; The thief has stolen something that is worthless because it is stolen.

But, for sake of argument, let's say that the police cannot track the diamond...  Unless they are a Bond villain who is planning to use the diamond as a focus for their death ray, the diamond is too large to be of commercial value.
Think about gold. We value it highly because it is pretty and somewhat rare. However, if we didn't care that it was pretty, we'd be using gold as wiring instead of as jewelry.
Diamonds have very few uses outside being installed in jewelry. Extremely large diamonds can't be installed in jewelry unless cut or split in some way.

So, the thief has a diamond that he can't sell in it's normal state. He could find a jeweler that just cuts the diamond down without question so that it may be used in jewelry and is unrecognizable to the previous owners... But then the diamond goes down in value because it has ceased to be the diamond he stole. The cut diamonds have the same value as other cut diamonds, but the thief's diamonds had higher risk to them with less reward.

In the end, one thing holds true about items of value that are stolen: they only have value to the legitimate owners. But, even to the owners the Diamond is worthless. It is just pretty to look at, and worth no more than a wooden sculpture in principle.


But, this is an easy plot for quick cash-in movies, and is not going to die easily... So better to just give a better reason for stealing the Diamond than just "it's worth a lot of money."
One possibility is the Bond plot, where the diamond is for a death ray. Or a scientist wants it for a telescope but can't afford to purchase it.
Anything is better than just stealing a giant diamond and trying to sell it to criminal overlords because it is pretty.

The medium information matrix addendum

In my Golden Compass review, I gave a matrix for information that a medium can bring. However, I missed a crucial medium in that matrix, which I need to add, plus there are a few If-Then statements needed to clarify some parts of the matrix.

So here it is, the Medium Information Matrix:

Comic Book Series -> Video Game Series -> Book Series = TV series -> Movie Series -> Video Game (single) -> Comic Book (single, a lot of depth given) -> Book (single) -> Theatrical Play -> Movie (single) -> Comic Book (single, not much depth given.)



Reasoning:
A book is the most basic form of entertainment, and has been around centuries longer than the other media... It contains a lot of information in a package that can take on average 3-6 hours to read (nonstop). However, it does not contain acting that only an actual human can give, and a book usually cannot describe action as well as visuals.
Plays and movies are below books. While they have the missing elements of books, visuals and acting, they sacrifice the ability to show what a character is thinking (usually), are forced to cut scenes for time, and can't work in as much world building as a book can, as they have to keep audience's attention for about 1 and a half to 2 hours.
The pattern remains the same when you make each medium a series... Except that there is a new medium in the series category. A TV series work a lot like a movie series, except that it can be significantly longer and give a lot more information. While it loses information in translation from a book to TV series, it doesn't lose as much info as a movie series. A TV series is equal to a book series because they both contain the same amount of information. A TV series gives up the character's thoughts but not the scenes, while a book gives up acting in exchange for character's thoughts.
Video games (at least decently made ones, particularly the ones that come out today) contain a vast amount of information. For example... A Book tells you what you see. Movies and TV shows show you what you're supposed to see. A Play presents what you should be seeing... A video game presents a world for you to explore. In addition to exploration, you can talk to citizenry, learn their story, or help them in your quest for glory! The best example of a video game with way more info than any of the mentioned media is Skyrim from the Elder Scrolls series of games. Every single person you meet has a personality, and has comments on the world around them... It'd take days, maybe even a year to see and do everything there is to do in Skyrim... and throughout out all of it, it keeps your attention. A video game series is pretty much all the information in the first game multiplied by the number of sequels (well made ones. A Elder Scrolls Pinball doesn't count.)
But now the odd one out... the Comic book. Now, like books they sacrifice acting... But they lose nothing else. They can present a character's thoughts, as well as present visuals. Like movies, they show you what you see, but you can linger on a panel, and examine all that is there.
Now alone, a comic book contains way less info than any other medium... This is because they are so short, averaging around 27 pages. But, a comic book series, when you combine all the stories, all the information presented in them... There is way more information in comic books than any other medium.
For instance, before the DC reboot, the Batman series was nearing over 1000 comic books! There is no way a movie, book, or television series could catch up to that number, let alone match the amount of information that those comics provide. For instance, did you know that Batman actually hates rock and roll?
According to Batman: Fortunate Son he views it as "Nothing but death, and the rage of a beast!"
You wouldn't find that info in the Bruce Nolan films... or the Batman games.

So, there it is, the matrix for the amount of information contained in a specific medium, and the reasons why information is lost between translations.
Now, it isn't perfect. Hardly, a TV series like Doctor Who completely breaks the scale due to it's immense size. This matrix is mostly for the average stuff... Like the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

This has been Fixer Sue!

Halo: Legends

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that fans of the Halo series don't like this movie... or rather, series of shorts that seem like pilots for a TV series.
Now, I haven't looked it up yet, so I don't have data to back that assumption up... I can just assume so because of the fact THERE IS A FREAKING GENERIC ANIME VERSION FEATURING A SPARTAN NAMED 1337 AS THE GENERIC ANIME PROTAGONIST!
I've never played any game of halo, and I am a fan of anime and manga... But that... I can tell that was just wrong...

Here's a basic summary... It is a collection of stories in animated form in the Halo Universe. The first two are good, as they detail the origins of the Halo universe, about the Forerunners, the flood, the halos, the covenant and the humans... While it doesn't have especially good animation to it, it is still good.

The next one is... A samurai-anime-3D models run through a photoshop filter... thing... It just left me confused. I watched the video "The story thus far" that came with the Blu-ray, and I understand the majority of the story. However, the main character in this... samurai thing... is the Arbiter. Or, an Arbiter, if that's actually a title... Except I thought the story thus far said that was a title of disgrace... And yet he's a general and commands respect... Honestly I think that is pretty much in an alternate universe. A universe that likes the water color filter.

The next episode is probably the better of the bunch. It tells the short tale of a female spartan, also summarizing the spartan two project nicely. It is in an anime style, but it does work, and it looks cool here.

And then there's... 1337. Leet. Har har. Honestly, it juggles back and forth between a parody of animes and playing the genre of animation straight... The leader of the covenant (something about "truth") sounded like a generic anime villain, I was fully expecting him to say "After 50 years I am free! It is time to conquer earth!" like something straight out of the power rangers. The the monster... It looked like the main villain of the Digimon movie! (I'll probably review that later...) And the planet they were on had dinosaurs... that acted like dogs... with kids that were raised by an AI... and the two older kids being as strong as a spartan, if not stronger... It is a serious WTF. The action is cool but throughout it I'm so aware of how wrong it is. I could write an entire article on how to fix this mess, but I'll just keep it quick:
Either make the kids Spartans or Elites. Their strength and combat skills will make sense then. Why would the Elites team up at this point? I don't know, maybe this takes place after the treaty or maybe they're marooned and would agree to an alliance just to get off the planet. Honestly, whenever 1337 or some other Halo related thing isn't on screen this story feels like a pilot for a different show...

It is at this point I have to introduce a featuring of Fixer-sue: Walking out.
Generally, if you are so disgusted by a movie, or so bored by it that your arm chair is far more interesting, you'd turn off the movie or walk out of the theatre. As I am just a normal media blogger, and not a reviewer that actually gets paid, I won't be subjecting myself to pain for the entertainment of others. Which means I retain the ability to walk away from the movie.
Now, just because I haven't seen the whole movie does not mean I can't review it or give suggestions on how to fix it. To the contrary, walking away from the movie automatically means that it has very noticeable flaws, whether it be boredom or insulting whatever you hold dear.

For Helo Legends, I stopped watching the film when it got to the short "Be human." It was immediately after the anime thing and... Well, I was just too bored by it. I was much more entertained listening to "The Story So Far" than watching a lot of the shorts...

So here's how to fix the movie:
Make it about Master Chief.
Now, I know that there probably is a story in there about Master Chief... But it is too little too late. Master Chief is iconic of the Halo universe; I never played a single game and yet I know about him. Pushing him aside for 1337, some Arbiter in feudal covenant times, and a female spartan 2 who dies at the end of her story.
If you want to tell those stories, fine, but give a rhyme and reason for it... Have an outer story linking them together. Like if Master chief is looking into some crystal that tells the life of one of the Arbiters, or listening to some random Spartan telling exaggerated war stories, or actually talking with the female spartan.

In the film, there is also very little action. There is some here and there, but it is mostly drama... I'm not sure how many people play Halo for the drama. I can expect books to have that kind of drama, but a movie? I was fully expecting some much grander battles... After all, if you're going to make a game about a movie, you have to avoid giving the fans a reason to say:
"Why don't I just play the games?"

Now, if you're an extreme fan of halo's lore, and you can stomach the dumb parts, you'll probably enjoy this movie. If you are just a normal member of the viewing audience... look up "The Story So Far" for Halo on youtube or something... It's a lot better watch, and will actually make you want to go out and get one of the games. (Then again, if you have a console that can play Halo, you probably already own it.)


This has been Fixer Sue, and I highly doubt anyone will be bothered by this review.