I don't want to talk about the special this post is named after. Rather, I want to talk about something related to it.
The idea that if Santa doesn't fly, then Christmas is canceled.
This has popped up in nearly every cartoon special (made by Nickelodeon). Santa can't fly, and it is up to the heroes to save Christmas.
First of all, think of the moral of the Grinch: Christmas doesn't come from a store. Christmas happens without the gifts. So why does Santa not delivering gifts ruin Christmas?
Secondly, this tends to come up in specials where people don't believe in Santa, and when they suddenly learn he exists and he can't fly, they decide Christmas will end. It seemed to be going just fine without them knowing of old Claus's existence, so why does learning about him suddenly make him =Christmas.
Thirdly... While I don't really agree with the Peanuts when they say Christmas is about the religion (Jesus was born much earlier in the year, the holiday was really only created to assimilate the pagans, it has evolved to be something different and is celebrated by people in other countries where it has no religious subtext... take your pick) they do have a point when they say it isn't all about commercialism.
This brings me to this post's name... Rugrats: Babies in Toyland. I hate the execution, but the plot does have some improvements upon the formula of Santa no fly = dead Christmas. First of all, it features extremely young children, so not getting presents can be cataclysmic for them, and they whole heartedly believe in Santa, to the point where a Santa's helper is Santa Claus to them. It still features the canceled Christmas thing, but it works a different way... because of Angelica (I don't expect anyone to not know the name of the annoying little girl.) convincing the heroes that if Dil (younger brother of Tommy, under a year old, first Christmas) doesn't get a good present, he will never experience Christmas again.
I hate to point out to the creators of the special, that Tommy's family is Christian and Jewish, and the show has had specials for Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Passover, meaning that even if a temporal anomaly forced Dil to be completely unaware of Christmas for the rest of his life, he'd still have the 50 or so Jewish holidays (That's the number right? I'm mostly just basing this off of how many times John Stewart takes his job off in a year).
But, this makes logical sense to the babies. To them, Santa quitting can cancel Christmas. However, this doesn't make the special good.
Just to reiterate the point for anyone in the future who writes a Christmas special: SANTA CLAUS NOT FLYING IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. DON'T DEFAULT TO "SAVING CHRISTMAS."
The only instances where Santa not flying being a crisis is an okay plot, is where everyone knows Santa exists and is the only reason for the holiday, or if it is set in Japan. The children there only get gifts if they believe in Santa. No Santa = No gifts for children in Japan. If you want to have the Santa/cancel Christmas plot line, don't say it is to save Christmas for the world. Just Japanese children.
This has been Fixer Sue. Next time, something we all dread on the network for cartoons around this time of year... and it involves copious amounts of fruitcake.
Reviews, art, comics, and videos by Fixer Sue. A "Fixer Sue" is a character inserted into a story to repair problems seen in the plot line. Usually used by fan-fiction writers to force their one true pairing, I use it to describe what I do in reviews: I don't just say that something could be better, I say how it could.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Had an almost messed up name~
and if you ever saw it,
You will never unsee it a-gain~
Yes the most iconic Rankin Bass film, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Based off the song of the same name, Rudolph gives the full story of the reindeer with a nose condition, and how he saved all the (actually awesome) toys on the island of misfit toys.
Though it actually looks like it had lower production values than it's sequel, Santa Claus is comin' to town, Rudolph is actually much better than it. Most of that is due to the special having free reign over the entire story except for key points (Having a red nose, being called names by other reindeer, and saving Christmas) rather than having to explain every tiny bit of lore about him. (Free reign is not always a good thing though; just see how the Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer movie went...)
As with Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, I assume everyone has seen the special, so no summary, and we go directly into the repairs.
There are rather large sections that aren't really necessary; examples being the "we are Santa's elves" song, (here's a tip: if your character is annoyed by the song, the audience is too) and the "There's always Tomorrow." Actually, Clarice isn't really important in the grand scheme of things. She doesn't add much, and Rudolph doesn't actually learn anything form her.
Also the snowman narrator... now a narrator is useful, but him having screen time and personality isn't. But, I will allow the snowman to live, because his presence made the movie better. Not him exactly, but what the inclusion of him did. You see, he was thrown in at the last minute to add a celebrity voice (Burl Ives) and forced some scenes to be cut. One of them included Rudolph being delivered to his parents via a stork... That would have ruined the beginning in my opinion, and I'm glad they weren't able to film it.
There is also the matter of the island of misfit toys... Either they have very, very minor problems, they run off of sheer awesome, or appear to have no problems at all. Examples include:
and if you ever saw it,
You will never unsee it a-gain~
Yes the most iconic Rankin Bass film, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Based off the song of the same name, Rudolph gives the full story of the reindeer with a nose condition, and how he saved all the (actually awesome) toys on the island of misfit toys.
Though it actually looks like it had lower production values than it's sequel, Santa Claus is comin' to town, Rudolph is actually much better than it. Most of that is due to the special having free reign over the entire story except for key points (Having a red nose, being called names by other reindeer, and saving Christmas) rather than having to explain every tiny bit of lore about him. (Free reign is not always a good thing though; just see how the Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer movie went...)
As with Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, I assume everyone has seen the special, so no summary, and we go directly into the repairs.
There are rather large sections that aren't really necessary; examples being the "we are Santa's elves" song, (here's a tip: if your character is annoyed by the song, the audience is too) and the "There's always Tomorrow." Actually, Clarice isn't really important in the grand scheme of things. She doesn't add much, and Rudolph doesn't actually learn anything form her.
Also the snowman narrator... now a narrator is useful, but him having screen time and personality isn't. But, I will allow the snowman to live, because his presence made the movie better. Not him exactly, but what the inclusion of him did. You see, he was thrown in at the last minute to add a celebrity voice (Burl Ives) and forced some scenes to be cut. One of them included Rudolph being delivered to his parents via a stork... That would have ruined the beginning in my opinion, and I'm glad they weren't able to film it.
There is also the matter of the island of misfit toys... Either they have very, very minor problems, they run off of sheer awesome, or appear to have no problems at all. Examples include:
- Charlie in the box; change his name, he's good to go.
- The dolly; why is she there? she seems fine, and she's less creepy than Raggedy Ann. Word of the creators says that she has psychological problems... fair enough, but that doesn't actually prevent her from being loved by a child.
- The polka-dotted elephant; stylistic, nothing wrong with it, unless it is supposed to be an action figure. Doubtful considering it has the form of a teddy bear.
- The Cowbow on an ostrich; crazy awesome. Can you imagine cowboys that ride giant feathered birds instead of horses?!
- Bird that swims instead of flies; pretty cool, and the toy does something. Kids love toys that do something even if it is counter intuitive.
- Water pistol with jelly; replace the jelly with water.
- Boat that doesn't float; toy. does not need to do anything. However, I'd suggest removing the weight it has on, since wood is supposed to float...
- Train with square wheels; take off the wheels and round them. Bam, you're good.
It isn't the island of misfit toys... it is the island of toys with minor problems who had dickish owners.
There is also sound of rudolph's nose. It sounds like microphone feedback. Couldn't they have made it musical? like a chime, or maybe a gong? counter intuitive, but think of the song potentials!
Speaking of the songs, a lot of them are needless, and somewhat bad. The best are the last two, Holly Jolly Christmas and Rudolph; but that's because those are actual songs!
However, like Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, I advise against remaking the film. It has already been done, and fell flat within the first few moments of trying to watch it.
As one last note before I foreshadow tomorrow's special, I highly recommend The Rifftrax for Rudolph. It is very funny, and definitely spices up the special for those who have seen it far too often.
Now, tomorrow... Maybe it is time I examine some truths we hold to be self-evident about this holiday...
Friday, December 7, 2012
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Ahh yes, the second most iconic work of Rankin and Bass... Santa Claus is Coming to Town tells the story of, well, Kris Claus and how he became Saint Claus. The special quickly attempts to explain everything about Santa, from who Mrs. Claus is to why he travels by night.
I'm not entirely sure if I should be reviewing this, or giving a rifftrax of it. It is almost painfully easy to make fun of, with many plot-holes, oddities, and ridiculous songs...
Anyway, considering this special is so prolific that anyone who has ever watched TV around Christmas time knows about it, I won't bother summarizing, and will get right into how to repair it.
First off, improve the animation ten fold. I don't mean make it computer animated; I mean get the director for James and the Giant Peach to animate it. (Same director as Nightmare Before Christmas, but James and the Giant peach gives the impression he isn't completely bonkers.) Then multiply the budget by 60, at least.
With the improved pre-production, onto the story.
First, the Burgermeister's reason for banning toys needs to be better. Tripping and breaking a bone on a toy? Not a good enough reason, the children would sooner collectively Zerg Rush him for that reasoning. It'd have to be something the parent's agreed on. Burgermeister can have his reason for hating toys, but his public reason should be "Children need to be prepared for what awaits them later in life; toys do not help them in this matter, and therefore should be removed." Kris can then come in and argue how toys help children develop into functional, well-rounded human beings. It stops being silly, and becomes a quality of life argument.
Second, the winter warlock needs more time to transition from being evil to being kind. Instead of suddenly go through a paradigm shift, use the song "put one foot in front of the other" to have him transition into his good form, with the chorus at the end being fully triumphant.
Third, they need a different way to escape the dungeon than "flying deer, your argument is invalid." The deer need a different explanation for flight than just enchantment. Magic can play a part sure, but have it be something else as well, like the children's desire to see Kris free. (Do you believe in fairies?)
Fourth, Topper is pointless, and seems to disappear quickly after Kris builds his castle. Instead, make it one of his Reindeer, and have it pull a sleigh with the presents in it. Bam, reason for sleigh and reason for reindeer.
Finally, give Jessica more personality. The Mrs. Claus in Rudolph had more personality, and since this is trying to be in continuity with it, then the personality should be the same. But then again, this is the late 1960's we're talking about... Writing good womens is hards, even though it is pretty much just writing a character who happens to be female, it's HARDS.
Now, even though I'm talking about how to improve it, I strongly advise against remaking this movie, or changing it from the original. Any company that does will be facing a death sentence from people complaining about how it is trampling on their childhood. If everyone stops watching it and it stops making money, then fine. But until that time, changes will be volatile. (For reference, they remade Rudolph. It is in CGI. And yet it seems like it had worse writing, acting, and quality. Probably not making all it's money back on it's deposit...)
Now, personally, for those of you who have seen this a million times, but feel you must watch it every year... I recommend The Rifftrax for the special. It is pretty funny; not laugh out loud, but funny enough to make a repeated viewing of the film more enjoyable.
Tomorrow... I think I shall resume Rankin Bass's collection...
I'm not entirely sure if I should be reviewing this, or giving a rifftrax of it. It is almost painfully easy to make fun of, with many plot-holes, oddities, and ridiculous songs...
Anyway, considering this special is so prolific that anyone who has ever watched TV around Christmas time knows about it, I won't bother summarizing, and will get right into how to repair it.
First off, improve the animation ten fold. I don't mean make it computer animated; I mean get the director for James and the Giant Peach to animate it. (Same director as Nightmare Before Christmas, but James and the Giant peach gives the impression he isn't completely bonkers.) Then multiply the budget by 60, at least.
With the improved pre-production, onto the story.
First, the Burgermeister's reason for banning toys needs to be better. Tripping and breaking a bone on a toy? Not a good enough reason, the children would sooner collectively Zerg Rush him for that reasoning. It'd have to be something the parent's agreed on. Burgermeister can have his reason for hating toys, but his public reason should be "Children need to be prepared for what awaits them later in life; toys do not help them in this matter, and therefore should be removed." Kris can then come in and argue how toys help children develop into functional, well-rounded human beings. It stops being silly, and becomes a quality of life argument.
Second, the winter warlock needs more time to transition from being evil to being kind. Instead of suddenly go through a paradigm shift, use the song "put one foot in front of the other" to have him transition into his good form, with the chorus at the end being fully triumphant.
Third, they need a different way to escape the dungeon than "flying deer, your argument is invalid." The deer need a different explanation for flight than just enchantment. Magic can play a part sure, but have it be something else as well, like the children's desire to see Kris free. (Do you believe in fairies?)
Fourth, Topper is pointless, and seems to disappear quickly after Kris builds his castle. Instead, make it one of his Reindeer, and have it pull a sleigh with the presents in it. Bam, reason for sleigh and reason for reindeer.
Finally, give Jessica more personality. The Mrs. Claus in Rudolph had more personality, and since this is trying to be in continuity with it, then the personality should be the same. But then again, this is the late 1960's we're talking about... Writing good womens is hards, even though it is pretty much just writing a character who happens to be female, it's HARDS.
Now, even though I'm talking about how to improve it, I strongly advise against remaking this movie, or changing it from the original. Any company that does will be facing a death sentence from people complaining about how it is trampling on their childhood. If everyone stops watching it and it stops making money, then fine. But until that time, changes will be volatile. (For reference, they remade Rudolph. It is in CGI. And yet it seems like it had worse writing, acting, and quality. Probably not making all it's money back on it's deposit...)
Now, personally, for those of you who have seen this a million times, but feel you must watch it every year... I recommend The Rifftrax for the special. It is pretty funny; not laugh out loud, but funny enough to make a repeated viewing of the film more enjoyable.
Tomorrow... I think I shall resume Rankin Bass's collection...
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Holly Jolly Jimmy
For a kid that is supposed to be a genius, he never thinks anything through... Jimmy Neutron is a show about a kid who is supposed to be the biggest freaking genius in the world, yet always creates his own problems. Not even Christmas is safe from this moron under the guise of a genius...
Holly Jolly Jimmy is probably even weaker than SpongeBob's Christmas special. At the very least SpongeBob wasn't mean to the audience; Jimmy Neutron seems to actually be TRYING to insult it's intended audience, and anyone unfortunate enough to watch it for a internet review blog.
Everyone admonishes Jimmy for assailing Carl's belief system, and Jimmy goes off to prove through experimentation that Santa isn't possible. (You don't need to prove it, the dude is riding through the sky on a sleigh pulled by heavy-weight deer. As a science major you should be more concerned with making web-shooters than making children cry.)
Jimmy Apologizes to Carl, and then tells the tale of how he wanted a dwarf star for Christmas.
...
Uh, no. Sorry, but no. A DWARF STAR?! You'll murder everyone on the planet with radiation, or heat! And even if you somehow managed to cool it down and encase the radiation, YOU WILL GO BLIND.
Good thing cooler heads prevailed, 'cause Santa did not give Jimmy his star.
Back to the present, Carl accidentally activates Jimmy's DNA scanner, which starts playing Christmas bells because of Santa's DNA. Not possible within the parameters of the tool, but whatever, magic need not be explained... So they decide to travel to the north pole to get a DNA match.
We then cut to Cindy and Libby- secretly opening their presents early...
...
Jimmy was already bad when he insulted every child who believed in Santa, but Cindy and Libby are breaking the one, ONE, rule of gifts: do not open until the allotted date. I have no sympathy for their actions. I never did, but this is another reason. (and yes, Eddy did the same thing in Jingle Jingle Jangle, but it was an important plot point, and well within his character. These two are just hypocrites.)
Cindy and Libby see Jimmy preparing his rocket to go to the north pole, and decide to use the Camera Cindy would've gotten for Christmas to get back at Jimmy for making Carl cry. (Retribution is already stupid girls, you don't need to help make it dumber.) Cindy and Libby then get trapped inside Jimmy's bag of holding, and are forced to go to the north pole as well.
Jimmy and his friends arrive, and see a sign directing them to Santa's workshop. (Why does Santa have a sign for his workshop? That's pretty much inviting people to just come and bother him.)
Meanwhile, Cindy and Libby escape the bag of holding (which is an infinite space mind you) by playing music really loud. That'd work if you were outside ladies. Inside, there are no walls for sound to bounce off of. Besides, it is just a CD and headphones, you need a speaker that goes up to eleven to have any effect.
Jimmy and his friends reach Santa's warehouse, where the elves are being completely counterproductive in packaging gifts, and Jimmy is refusing to believe in Santa despite evidence being directly in front of him. Jimmy's DNA scanner then shoots out a bolt of electricity, electrifying Santa. (Welp, that's another person to add to Jimmy's body-count.) Cindy and Libby got it on Camera, and quickly send it to their home town, where it is played for everyone to see.
Jimmy is then forced by the elves to deliver the gifts, and Jimmy proclaims that if he can accomplish it, then Santa doesn't exist. (That's like if Scully from the X-files didn't believe in the internet... While surfing the internet!)
Jimmy's parents hear of Jimmy's actions, and Hugh in his infinite stupidity tries to invent a new holiday on the spot. Ugh...
Cut back to Jimmy, who is heading off to deliver the presents. He is only given 12 hours (he must be working during the day time over in Europe, 'cause Santa usually has 24 hours) and he begins his journey.
Then after a long sequence of delivering presents and Jimmy's father being an idiot, Jimmy finally discovers that he is almost out of time, and yet has forgotten his home town. To try and make it in time, he installs a light-speed chip into his rocket... and is then surprised that he cannot control it because it is going too fast. (Come on Jimmy... You only have to go 88 miles per hour!)
The rocket falls to pieces, and the three plummet to the surface. However, they are saved by a very unenthusiastic Santa, who tells Jimmy to use the light speed chip in his sleigh. He does so and Retroville gets it's gifts and Jimmy is convinced Santa is real and...
And I didn't think it was possible to make something worse than the SpongeBob Christmas Special.
Man was this painful... It was terrible! Completely awful! It is the most base example of a Christmas special, with no heart and only cruelty.
Now, how to improve it...
Then Jimmy, seeing his friend Carl so disappointed, apologizes, and decides to run the test again. Carl then sees a book on Jimmy's work table, "Profiles of the Future." Carl asks about it, and Jimmy quickly tells Carl about Arthur C Clarke, and a light bulb goes off in Jimmy's head. He remembers Clarke's third law, "Sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic." He tells Carl this, and decides the only way to be sure is to locate Santa and find out how he does it.
They then travel to the North Pole, and begin looking for the workshop.
Just when they are about to give up hope, Carl figures out that Santa could be cloaking his shop, and Jimmy activates a decloaking field... Just in time to stop before hitting the massive workshop.
Jimmy and Carl disembark, and go into the workshop.
From there, the show must drop all pretenses about there not being any magic in the world, as the elves explain that it is all magic, but magic that can be explored through scientific method. IE, the arcane. The elves explain that the giant Christmas tree in the workshop is their tree of life, which makes them immortal. When asked how Santa could possibly go to every child's house in one night, they explain that Santa utilizes portals more than he does flying nowadays.
Jimmy isn't really satisfied with it being simply Arcane magic, and decides to go off and see how the elves are tapping into it, hoping to find some scientific explanation, While Carl takes a tour of the factory.
Meanwhile, an army of dwarves notices Santa's workshop is no longer concealed, and elect to attack.
Santa's workshop, being a peaceful toy factory, has no means of defense. So, when Jimmy hears of the dwarf attack, he rushes to their aid with science.
They manage to fend off the Dwarves, and Jimmy and Carl go on their way back home.
While that doesn't sound particularly Christmasy, how many Christmas specials do you know where they actually state that everything is magic, and that magic can be explained? If you have a show about science, what better way to show that magic can exist than through scientific possibilities?
Not a very good Christmas special, but a very good thought experiment.
*sigh* next time, I think I'll do something everyone knows about. I've done obscure movies and specials from TV shows that people who read blogs on the internet don't watch anymore up until now... Next time, Rankin Bass.
Holly Jolly Jimmy is probably even weaker than SpongeBob's Christmas special. At the very least SpongeBob wasn't mean to the audience; Jimmy Neutron seems to actually be TRYING to insult it's intended audience, and anyone unfortunate enough to watch it for a internet review blog.
Summary
The special begins with it's biggest problem: Jimmy questioning Santa's existence. Now, this normally wouldn't be a problem; he's a genius, and magic doesn't compute. However, he does it in the form of telling his friend, Carl, who believes in Santa that he doesn't exist (in front of the whole class). This causes his friend to run out crying. Congrats Jimmy, you are an asshole.Everyone admonishes Jimmy for assailing Carl's belief system, and Jimmy goes off to prove through experimentation that Santa isn't possible. (You don't need to prove it, the dude is riding through the sky on a sleigh pulled by heavy-weight deer. As a science major you should be more concerned with making web-shooters than making children cry.)
Jimmy Apologizes to Carl, and then tells the tale of how he wanted a dwarf star for Christmas.
...
Uh, no. Sorry, but no. A DWARF STAR?! You'll murder everyone on the planet with radiation, or heat! And even if you somehow managed to cool it down and encase the radiation, YOU WILL GO BLIND.
Good thing cooler heads prevailed, 'cause Santa did not give Jimmy his star.
Back to the present, Carl accidentally activates Jimmy's DNA scanner, which starts playing Christmas bells because of Santa's DNA. Not possible within the parameters of the tool, but whatever, magic need not be explained... So they decide to travel to the north pole to get a DNA match.
We then cut to Cindy and Libby- secretly opening their presents early...
...
Jimmy was already bad when he insulted every child who believed in Santa, but Cindy and Libby are breaking the one, ONE, rule of gifts: do not open until the allotted date. I have no sympathy for their actions. I never did, but this is another reason. (and yes, Eddy did the same thing in Jingle Jingle Jangle, but it was an important plot point, and well within his character. These two are just hypocrites.)
Cindy and Libby see Jimmy preparing his rocket to go to the north pole, and decide to use the Camera Cindy would've gotten for Christmas to get back at Jimmy for making Carl cry. (Retribution is already stupid girls, you don't need to help make it dumber.) Cindy and Libby then get trapped inside Jimmy's bag of holding, and are forced to go to the north pole as well.
Jimmy and his friends arrive, and see a sign directing them to Santa's workshop. (Why does Santa have a sign for his workshop? That's pretty much inviting people to just come and bother him.)
Meanwhile, Cindy and Libby escape the bag of holding (which is an infinite space mind you) by playing music really loud. That'd work if you were outside ladies. Inside, there are no walls for sound to bounce off of. Besides, it is just a CD and headphones, you need a speaker that goes up to eleven to have any effect.
Jimmy and his friends reach Santa's warehouse, where the elves are being completely counterproductive in packaging gifts, and Jimmy is refusing to believe in Santa despite evidence being directly in front of him. Jimmy's DNA scanner then shoots out a bolt of electricity, electrifying Santa. (Welp, that's another person to add to Jimmy's body-count.) Cindy and Libby got it on Camera, and quickly send it to their home town, where it is played for everyone to see.
Jimmy is then forced by the elves to deliver the gifts, and Jimmy proclaims that if he can accomplish it, then Santa doesn't exist. (That's like if Scully from the X-files didn't believe in the internet... While surfing the internet!)
Jimmy's parents hear of Jimmy's actions, and Hugh in his infinite stupidity tries to invent a new holiday on the spot. Ugh...
Cut back to Jimmy, who is heading off to deliver the presents. He is only given 12 hours (he must be working during the day time over in Europe, 'cause Santa usually has 24 hours) and he begins his journey.
Then after a long sequence of delivering presents and Jimmy's father being an idiot, Jimmy finally discovers that he is almost out of time, and yet has forgotten his home town. To try and make it in time, he installs a light-speed chip into his rocket... and is then surprised that he cannot control it because it is going too fast. (Come on Jimmy... You only have to go 88 miles per hour!)
The rocket falls to pieces, and the three plummet to the surface. However, they are saved by a very unenthusiastic Santa, who tells Jimmy to use the light speed chip in his sleigh. He does so and Retroville gets it's gifts and Jimmy is convinced Santa is real and...
And I didn't think it was possible to make something worse than the SpongeBob Christmas Special.
Man was this painful... It was terrible! Completely awful! It is the most base example of a Christmas special, with no heart and only cruelty.
Now, how to improve it...
Saving Christmas
Jimmy questioning Santa's existence is fine, but don't have him be an ass about it. It could just be that Carl is questioning his existence (have it be where Santa didn't eat the food he left out) and goes to Jimmy to see if he can call Santa plausible. Jimmy says he doesn't believe in magic, but he's willing to test it for Carl. Thus we see him run through a large number of possible tests, ending with the best case scenario of Santa's sleigh being a ship capable of light speed travel and the reindeer are just dressing for the technology necessary to accomplish the task, and the math still saying that getting to every Christian household in 24 hours is impossible.Then Jimmy, seeing his friend Carl so disappointed, apologizes, and decides to run the test again. Carl then sees a book on Jimmy's work table, "Profiles of the Future." Carl asks about it, and Jimmy quickly tells Carl about Arthur C Clarke, and a light bulb goes off in Jimmy's head. He remembers Clarke's third law, "Sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic." He tells Carl this, and decides the only way to be sure is to locate Santa and find out how he does it.
They then travel to the North Pole, and begin looking for the workshop.
Just when they are about to give up hope, Carl figures out that Santa could be cloaking his shop, and Jimmy activates a decloaking field... Just in time to stop before hitting the massive workshop.
Jimmy and Carl disembark, and go into the workshop.
From there, the show must drop all pretenses about there not being any magic in the world, as the elves explain that it is all magic, but magic that can be explored through scientific method. IE, the arcane. The elves explain that the giant Christmas tree in the workshop is their tree of life, which makes them immortal. When asked how Santa could possibly go to every child's house in one night, they explain that Santa utilizes portals more than he does flying nowadays.
Jimmy isn't really satisfied with it being simply Arcane magic, and decides to go off and see how the elves are tapping into it, hoping to find some scientific explanation, While Carl takes a tour of the factory.
Meanwhile, an army of dwarves notices Santa's workshop is no longer concealed, and elect to attack.
Santa's workshop, being a peaceful toy factory, has no means of defense. So, when Jimmy hears of the dwarf attack, he rushes to their aid with science.
They manage to fend off the Dwarves, and Jimmy and Carl go on their way back home.
While that doesn't sound particularly Christmasy, how many Christmas specials do you know where they actually state that everything is magic, and that magic can be explained? If you have a show about science, what better way to show that magic can exist than through scientific possibilities?
Not a very good Christmas special, but a very good thought experiment.
*sigh* next time, I think I'll do something everyone knows about. I've done obscure movies and specials from TV shows that people who read blogs on the internet don't watch anymore up until now... Next time, Rankin Bass.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Olive, the Other Reindeer
Based on the children's book of the same name, Olive the Other Reindeer is about a dog who mishears the words "All of the other reindeer" as Olive the other reindeer, and goes to the North Pole to help Santa. It is basically Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but with a far more interesting characters, and better songs.
I actually read the book myself when I was in the third grade; it was pretty good, but didn't really leave an impact. But, a couple years later, Cartoon Network was showing the movie, and I remembered the book. It was in the 6th grade when I first saw the movie, and I still love it today.
But, despite how much I do like it, it does have a couple problems. But first, to the summary filled with jokes I thought were amusing when I first wrote this but may not be amusing when it finally comes out! (Charlie sheen jokes will always be funny right?)
Summary
the TL;DR summary was already given; dog saves Christmas. Skip this section if you aren't interested in the summary or the insights inside it.
When at home, her owner John asks her about her "Dog chores" (barking without reason, chasing cars...) and when she says she hasn't done any of them, John asks how she can call herself a dog, and begins yelling at her, and talking about how there isn't going to be a Christmas that year. Olive, saddened that John was so mad with her, listens to the radio to try and cheer up, and discovers that one of Santa's reindeer was injured and can't fly, and thus the sleigh won't be able to take off. (I say replace it with a giant Snow leopard!) After a misunderstanding, where Olive thinks John is telling her to leave when he's really apologizing, Olive decides to go to the north pole and be Santa's other Reindeer.
On her way to the bus station (she must be in Canada if she can take a bus to the North Pole and get there before nightfall...) she bumps into a mailman who hates Christmas because of the extra work it gives him. He serves as the antagonist, and gives us a song, "Bah, bug, and Hum." The song is a little banal, but the postman's ham and cheese performance makes it amusing.
After leaving the postman and reaching the bus station, Olive runs into Martini again. Martini helps Olive escape the mailman who is trying to prevent her from going to the north pole (And therefore ruin/end Christmas), and they head on their way to the frozen north.
Upon arriving at Arctic Junction, the midpoint between the North Pole and wherever Olive actually lives, Olive and Martini grab a bite to eat. But, Olive is tricked outside by the mailman, who then kidnaps her. After Deus Ex Machina sends her a nail file, (I'm not joking, Deus Ex Machina is the "From" on her package. It is a joke, and I can't believe I only figured out what the words meant two years ago.) She escapes and returns back to the Junction, but she is too late to catch her bus.
Martini and Olive then go to a nearby bar to hitch a ride. Problem is that everyone there is cynical and grouchy, and of no help, to the point of assaulting Olive and Martini. It is only after Olive berates them that they calm down and offer a ride to save Santa (turns out that even grown men in this universe ask for gifts. Why not I suppose, if you know he exists and is giving out gifts, why not ask for something).
After Olive manages to get in, she meets Santa and encourages him to try delivering the toys, and she'll replace the injured reindeer. Santa agrees, and they fly off... However, the mailman switched out the bag of toys with his bag of junk mail, thus stealing Christmas (please don't ask why no one quite knows the reason...). The mailman then captures Martini and brings him along in the mail-truck.
Santa and Olive discover the treachery, and quickly fly after the mailman. They manage to catch up to him and retrieve the presents, and begin their delivery.
Once they are finished, Olive returns home to John, who finally gives his apology to her and tells of how he is proud of her. We then get a reprise of the intro song, and end this happy special.
One of the things I have to say about this special is this: Though it makes no attempt to hide that it is pretty much for kids, it doesn't look down on them. It doesn't throw in idiotic humor, it uses some somewhat high vocabulary at times, and nothing feels particularly padded. Any joke shown is paid off a number of times, making it almost feel like everything is connected.
Though nothing is without it's problems... the special was based around the designs found in the book, and follows them to the letter... the problem is that the style of the drawing doesn't really work when the characters are walking, as it merely looks like they are picking up their feet, dropping them, and sort of gliding along (a bit like how bad flash animation works now). The CGI in the special is able to blend in with the 2D animation, but there are times where it is blatantly obvious. (But then again, this is a Christmas special. The most iconic ones feature stop-motion models with only a couple different faces.)
Though it isn't really necessary, perhapse the designs could be something along these lines:
Still cartoony, somewhat close to the designs of the book, but more room for expression and for angles other than 3/4s.
The biggest problem I find is how Olive isn't really careful about the absurdity of calling herself a reindeer. While she mentions the absurdity of it near the beginning, it is dropped form then on, and she simply calls herself "the replacement reindeer" as opposed to simply saying "I'm going to the north pole to help Santa!" people would be more inclined to approve and cheer for you if your first statement isn't something insane. Plus I really hate when characters embarrass themselves, especially in-front of people that could severely hurt them.
You know, I just noticed... I haven't really reviewed anything that I can really repair. I mean, Santa Claus the movie had problems but did what it needed... the SpongeBob special was a massive pain but there is no real fix beyond repairing SpongeBob as a show itself... And the past 3 were all good in my opinion, with little change necessary...
Next time however, something that requires repair.
Oh, one last thing... Drew Barrymore plays the main character in the special... Can you guess the name of her first daughter?
Olive.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle
Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy... It is probably my favorite cartoon series from when I was a kid. Despite how the characters can be a little flat, and quite a few of the kids are jerks, including the main character Eddy, the show is still very enjoyable. It's a bit like the Willie Coyote cartoons; you know he will always fail, but it is still fun to watch.
It ended a couple years ago; there were attempts to make more seasons, but they sort of fell flat, thanks in no small part to the fact the summer ended in the story, and thus School was the main location, rather than the cul-de-sac.
The series came to a conclusive end with the made-for-TV movie, which wrapped up a lot of subplots, explored the characters and their flaws, and finally gave the Eds some respect. I could do a review just on that movie and how it did right for a TV show becoming a movie.
But today, we are doing the Christmas special, jingle jingle jangle.
The special begins with eddy running about the house searching for his Christmas gifts, so that he could see what he got. (My bet is that his parents hid them in another house, and the ones he found were to troll him.) What he finds are a bunch of clothes, and in a fury goes off to Ed's house.
Meanwhile, the Kanker Sisters (three overly aggressive stalkers who should have several charges of sexual assault under their belts) reenact the 3 wise men, collecting random items that won't pay off until the end.
We then move onto Ed, who, being the lovable insane idiot (different from SpongeBob idiot, because Ed has moments of clairvoyance, is super strong, memetic, and sufferable) is moving the chimney to his bedroom in the basement, destroying much of the roof. Ed sets up a seat for Santa with the whole milk and cakes shebang, then hears a knocking on his window. He thinks it is Santa, but discovers it is just Edd, the smart, wimpy one of the bunch. Ed continues to display Christmas fervor, while Edd tries to discuss with the brick wall of an Ed about how the spirit of Christmas comes from his heart.
Eddy then enters in the style of the Kool-aid man, and complains about how his presents suck. Edd admonishes him for opening his gifts early, but Ed is too freaked about Eddy ruining Santa's chair to be of any use to Edd. Edd tries the same speech he gave to Ed, and Eddy reacts similarly; which is to say, blows off the speech entirely. Ed then secrets a lightbulb into Eddy's pocket, while Edd tells Eddy that he needs to adopt a better attitude. This gives Eddy the idea to be adopted by another family and get their presents. (I'm not too concerned about Eddy's logic, I'm still wondering why Ed's sister was shown in bed asleep when her friend and everyone else in the neighborhood are still awake.)
So Eddy goes to Johnny Twobyfour's house, where their family has taken all the surrounding snow into their house to thank mother nature. (If you think that's odd, just wait until we get to Rolf.) Johnny kicks Eddy out when his plank of wood figures out that Eddy is just there to steal their Christmas.
Then we meet Rolf, a Shepherd's boy from a far away land, hanging meat from a wire on his roof. Eddy regales a sad tail about how his parents were kidnapped by Baggage handlers, and Rolf invites him inside. We learn that Rolf celebrates a holiday about feasting, with Yeshmiyek replacing Santa Claus. Rolf then sings in honor of her great Stewing, and it is a song that will get stuck in your head. Eddy then decides to leave when he learns there are no presents.
We then cut to Edd and Ed, who decide to teach Eddy a lesson about Christmas, and begin talking about their plan like they are the Scooby Doo mystery gang.
Eddy then arrives at Nazz's house (Nazz is considered the Hot Chick of the group, complete with jazz music. Just a note, they are all 7th graders). Nazz invites him inside, seeming to be the perfect house for Eddy to be at, as Nazz even says she could find him a present or two. Eddy however ruins it with a spit-take when Nazz mentions the mistletoe, and is promptly kicked out.
After a brief seen with the 3 Kankers, Edd and Ed attempt to convince Eddy to give up his quest (in the form of an angel and a Shepherd). Eddy ignores them, and takes Edd's wings to use in his next scam.
Eddy then goes to Jimmy's house in the guise of a Christmas Angel, and consumes Jimmy's hard-made Gingerbread village (his stomach has gotta be hating life now...). Eddy is then kicked out.
As a last resort, he goes to Kevin's house, and just flat out begs for a gift. Kevin gives him a fist (the best gift! because you can use it again, and again, and again).
Eddy then looks around the Cul-de-sac, and sees all the neighbor kids having good times together, enjoying their Christmas Eve... Disappointed, Eddy walks off, and comes across a Christmas tree in the nearby construction site. (You know, the dozens of random Christmas trees that are found in construction sites that have extremely long extension chords in order to light up the tree!) Eddy notices one of the lights has gone out, and, finding the lightbulb in his pocket, replaces it. Everyone then proclaims how that was such a good actions, and the true meaning of the season... Then Santa drops his sack of gifts on the group, and Eddy steals the entire sack. Ed and Edd try to make him return it, but fail in doing so. In the end, Eddy winds up in a wheel barrow, Edd is hanging from the ceiling, and Ed is still dressed as a shepherd.
That is when the Kankers come in... Bearing mold, franks 'n' cents, and fur, and wearing paper crowns. The special then ends with the Kankers sexually assaulting all three Eds, and the neighborhood kids singing "We wish you a marry Christmas."
TL;DR: Eddy opens his gifts early and doesn't like what he finds. Thus he goes off to steal other people's presents, but is largely unsuccessful. Then he screws a lightbulb into a tree, and is sexually assaulted by 3 women.
... Well first off that ending needs improving. Ed and Edd did nothing wrong, and yet they receive the same punishment as Eddy. (Then again, considering that Jesus was born around the time of the Romans, and the Romans descending from the Greeks who believed that everyone should be punished for the crimes of another, it might be apropos. Damn you Oedipus!)
But, beyond the sour taste of the ending, Jingle Jingle Jangle is a pretty enjoyable Christmas Special. The Premise is unique, as is how Eddy learns his lesson (or rather, doesn't). However, unless you are a fan of the show, you probably aren't going to fully enjoy the special.
Next time however, a special that leaves a better taste, and is one of my favorites.
It ended a couple years ago; there were attempts to make more seasons, but they sort of fell flat, thanks in no small part to the fact the summer ended in the story, and thus School was the main location, rather than the cul-de-sac.
The series came to a conclusive end with the made-for-TV movie, which wrapped up a lot of subplots, explored the characters and their flaws, and finally gave the Eds some respect. I could do a review just on that movie and how it did right for a TV show becoming a movie.
But today, we are doing the Christmas special, jingle jingle jangle.
Summary
TL;DR at the bottom
Meanwhile, the Kanker Sisters (three overly aggressive stalkers who should have several charges of sexual assault under their belts) reenact the 3 wise men, collecting random items that won't pay off until the end.
We then move onto Ed, who, being the lovable insane idiot (different from SpongeBob idiot, because Ed has moments of clairvoyance, is super strong, memetic, and sufferable) is moving the chimney to his bedroom in the basement, destroying much of the roof. Ed sets up a seat for Santa with the whole milk and cakes shebang, then hears a knocking on his window. He thinks it is Santa, but discovers it is just Edd, the smart, wimpy one of the bunch. Ed continues to display Christmas fervor, while Edd tries to discuss with the brick wall of an Ed about how the spirit of Christmas comes from his heart.
Eddy then enters in the style of the Kool-aid man, and complains about how his presents suck. Edd admonishes him for opening his gifts early, but Ed is too freaked about Eddy ruining Santa's chair to be of any use to Edd. Edd tries the same speech he gave to Ed, and Eddy reacts similarly; which is to say, blows off the speech entirely. Ed then secrets a lightbulb into Eddy's pocket, while Edd tells Eddy that he needs to adopt a better attitude. This gives Eddy the idea to be adopted by another family and get their presents. (I'm not too concerned about Eddy's logic, I'm still wondering why Ed's sister was shown in bed asleep when her friend and everyone else in the neighborhood are still awake.)
So Eddy goes to Johnny Twobyfour's house, where their family has taken all the surrounding snow into their house to thank mother nature. (If you think that's odd, just wait until we get to Rolf.) Johnny kicks Eddy out when his plank of wood figures out that Eddy is just there to steal their Christmas.
Then we meet Rolf, a Shepherd's boy from a far away land, hanging meat from a wire on his roof. Eddy regales a sad tail about how his parents were kidnapped by Baggage handlers, and Rolf invites him inside. We learn that Rolf celebrates a holiday about feasting, with Yeshmiyek replacing Santa Claus. Rolf then sings in honor of her great Stewing, and it is a song that will get stuck in your head. Eddy then decides to leave when he learns there are no presents.
We then cut to Edd and Ed, who decide to teach Eddy a lesson about Christmas, and begin talking about their plan like they are the Scooby Doo mystery gang.
Eddy then arrives at Nazz's house (Nazz is considered the Hot Chick of the group, complete with jazz music. Just a note, they are all 7th graders). Nazz invites him inside, seeming to be the perfect house for Eddy to be at, as Nazz even says she could find him a present or two. Eddy however ruins it with a spit-take when Nazz mentions the mistletoe, and is promptly kicked out.
After a brief seen with the 3 Kankers, Edd and Ed attempt to convince Eddy to give up his quest (in the form of an angel and a Shepherd). Eddy ignores them, and takes Edd's wings to use in his next scam.
Eddy then goes to Jimmy's house in the guise of a Christmas Angel, and consumes Jimmy's hard-made Gingerbread village (his stomach has gotta be hating life now...). Eddy is then kicked out.
As a last resort, he goes to Kevin's house, and just flat out begs for a gift. Kevin gives him a fist (the best gift! because you can use it again, and again, and again).
Eddy then looks around the Cul-de-sac, and sees all the neighbor kids having good times together, enjoying their Christmas Eve... Disappointed, Eddy walks off, and comes across a Christmas tree in the nearby construction site. (You know, the dozens of random Christmas trees that are found in construction sites that have extremely long extension chords in order to light up the tree!) Eddy notices one of the lights has gone out, and, finding the lightbulb in his pocket, replaces it. Everyone then proclaims how that was such a good actions, and the true meaning of the season... Then Santa drops his sack of gifts on the group, and Eddy steals the entire sack. Ed and Edd try to make him return it, but fail in doing so. In the end, Eddy winds up in a wheel barrow, Edd is hanging from the ceiling, and Ed is still dressed as a shepherd.
That is when the Kankers come in... Bearing mold, franks 'n' cents, and fur, and wearing paper crowns. The special then ends with the Kankers sexually assaulting all three Eds, and the neighborhood kids singing "We wish you a marry Christmas."
TL;DR: Eddy opens his gifts early and doesn't like what he finds. Thus he goes off to steal other people's presents, but is largely unsuccessful. Then he screws a lightbulb into a tree, and is sexually assaulted by 3 women.
... Well first off that ending needs improving. Ed and Edd did nothing wrong, and yet they receive the same punishment as Eddy. (Then again, considering that Jesus was born around the time of the Romans, and the Romans descending from the Greeks who believed that everyone should be punished for the crimes of another, it might be apropos. Damn you Oedipus!)
But, beyond the sour taste of the ending, Jingle Jingle Jangle is a pretty enjoyable Christmas Special. The Premise is unique, as is how Eddy learns his lesson (or rather, doesn't). However, unless you are a fan of the show, you probably aren't going to fully enjoy the special.
Next time however, a special that leaves a better taste, and is one of my favorites.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Arnold's Christmas
If there is one show on Nickelodeon I respect, it is Hey Arnold. While people on TVTropes complain about Arnold was flanderized until he was basically Kid Jesus, I do prefer the later seasons. While Arnold was flattened, others expanded, and he became the foil to everyone else, allowing him to mesh with any character or situation thrown at him, whether it be a bird-man, kid obsessed with chocolate, or a 30 year old man who doesn't know how to read. Hey Arnold doesn't look down on kids (too much) and is fairly enjoyable.
The Hey Arnold Christmas special came out in the first season as the last episode (if the show gets canceled, end on a good note, as they say), and is one of the most memorable for me.
To start out, let me just say the first thing that popped into my head upon watching the special:
"Wow, this show has atmosphere."
Nowadays, shows are normally made with bright, pastel colors, with little variance in terms of lighting or camera angles. This is abundantly clear in the 3D shows based on movies, where the textures on the characters become smooth and plastic, and the time of day is always triple suns to make no shadows appear ever. But in the 1990's... People actually put a large amount of work into making the shows look good. They all had their styles, a special look to their animation... Now, we just have flash animation, and the only people really doing it right are the My Little Pony animation team.
But, now to summarize Arnold's Christmas:
Summary; skip if no care.
A TL;DR will be at the bottom, but the insights gathered will not be repeated.
The special begins with the fourth graders getting out of school for Christmas vacation (may have to do that one if I run out before December 24th...) and Helga is talking to Phoebe (Helga has a massive lisp for some reason...) about getting a lot of presents, while Phoebe gives the generic "It's about giving!" speech. (Yes it is about giving... but when you only get an allowance, you can't actually give. If you have some way of making money, THEN it is about giving. Unless you can't buy bread, in which case it is about being sent canned foods and turkeys by Student unions and National Honors Societies.)
Helga then spots a flashy pair of boots made of leather and gold (You fools! It's silver and gold! Only the BDSM people like Leather and gold!) that apparently everygirl wants. No idea why, though Helga says that she has been dropping hints that she wants them to her parents (considering her personality, those hints might've been in the form of Anvils).
We then cut to Arnold and Gerald, talking about presents, and pass by Helga, who goes into lyrical poetry about how she loves Arnold, and how she's going to profess that love through a flashy gift. (Talk to the boy; he's Jesus, he'll forgive the sin of stalking.)
We then cut to the boarding house that Arnold lives at, and everyone is picking a secret Santa. Arnold gets Mr. Hyunn (pronounced Win, with a breathy W) who is from Vietnam... You can guess what the man's been through.
Arnold finds out that Mr. Hyunn tried to leave Vietnam during the war, but was unable to. A copter was taking refugees away from Vietnam and to America, but only one seat was left. So, Mr. Hyunn had them take his daughter Mai. The Solider told him where she would be, so that he may one day find her again. 20 Years later, he came to Arnold's city looking for her, to no avail.
So, Arnold sets out to find his daughter for him, on Christmas eve. (Why the secret Santa went into effect on Christmas eve, I do not know.) So he goes to a local government information building to ask for help in looking her up (legality of looking up such information, I will not question at this time). To accomplish this, Arnold picks up the next quest in the chain, and does the shopping for a Department Supervisor, in exchange for his assistance. Unfortunately, he fails the quest, because of the boots Helga desires (dun dun dun).
Helga ends up getting the boots from her parents, but she overheard Arnold talking about how he needed those boots to complete the quest and find Mai. She decides to give them to the Department Supervisor, and he does a search for Mai.
Come Christmas Day, Mr. Hyunn is reunited with Mai, and all is good and joyous.
TL;DR
Arnold sets out to find a missing girl for his friend. he is on a time limit, and doesn't manage to accomplish it in time; but someone else intervenes with good will and everything is happy.
This is probably one of the best TV Christmas specials I have seen. It isn't about Santa, and gifts actually play a relatively minor part, serving only to control the main plot. The focus is on reuniting a father and daughter separated by war. It isn't an original story, but it is a lot more powerful than the usual Christmas fare.
Compare this to the SpongeBob special from yesterday; while that was fairly mean and too sugary, this is a lot more light hearted and sober, and has far more soul behind it.
This story isn't perfect (nothing ever is) but I don't see anything that needs fixing in this special. It shall instead reside as a marker for quality Christmas specials.
I've been focusing on Nickelodeon for a bit too long now me-thinks, time to move onto one of their rivals... Cartoon Network.
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