Tangerine Bear: Home in time for Christmas

What we haven't really touched on is a small sub-genre of christmas specials; the direct to video, quick-cash christmas stories.
Tangerine Bear was made for very, very little kids... Age 2-4 (as stated by Netflix)

The movie begins at a factory, working over time to create stuffed bears. (I don't know about you, but stores I go to don't usually have a large amount of stuffed animals on display... they will normally sprinkle them throughout the toy isles (since they are usually brand names) and I've only seen Toy R Us with any large section of stuffed animals. There are only 50 stuffed animals tops in that section though, meaning that the factory working over time to fulfill orders is quite unlikely.)
A chase with a mouse and a factory worker causes a bear to be knocked over; cause a defect where the smile is sewn upside down, and to the side. (The problem is, the machine managed to still place it on the head. Had it worked like they are saying, the smile would instead be on his ass. Since it is still on the head, we have to assume the machine can identify the body part the smile is supposed to be sewn on... And by extension, should be able to get it right. But whatever, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 mantra, "it's just a movie, I should just enjoy myself...") All this while a narrator tells us what we see. Then the bear is packaged, and sent to a department store. On the way, all the bears get out of their boxes and start walking and talking...
    This came out 6 years after toy story mind you, but you do need to give SOME explanation as to why factory made toys are alive. Or at the very least put some thought into how you present them as alive.
     Then a bear with a whistle claims he's a general, and explains to the bear their goal in life: Be sold. Slavery, the kids edition!
      And then they... start singing... You know what, I prefer the songs in Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer. At least they were actual songs, that people were expected to purchase and listen to. These songs are just banal drible. Not to mention, completely pointless. Nothing comes of the bear's song, it just comes and goes... could be removed with probably a negative damage value to the movie. (That is, it would heal the movie if removed.)
     They then arrive at Kroll's, as massive store. (Does not exist, by Brian Kroll is one of the people in charge of Kohls. A little ironic. ^^)
All the other bears get sold off one by one (including to a little kid who asked Santa for a teddy bear. Dream big kid...) but the one with the upside down smile doesn't get sold (I call foul. It has woobie potential. The others seem like slashers with their smiles). Well, actually, he almost gets sold to a child who seems delighted with the bear, but upon reaching the counter, the child declares he doesn't want it, all because of the frown. (Bugger that child he doesn't deserve a woobie.) He is put on the discount table, marked 50% off.
     Given how the father of that child said they were looking all over town for that bear (dude, freaking make the bear yourself, it'll be easier and cost significantly less than the gas you wasted) 50% is worth the defect. Then as night falls, the bear comes to life again, and sees he's on the discount table, along with a blue monkey in a fez and a girl (no idea what her problem is). They say the monkey is there because he's blue (stylistic) but I say it's because he's annoying. Thankfully they are sold off and never seen again. He is then taken to a Second-hand store called Winkles (kids movies, bugger off the cutesy names. Go for something like Meisters, teach kids to say bigger and more sensical words).
     There we meet a mermaid clock named Lorelei (It's ariel. Don't try and say it isn't. The only difference is the color of her fin and seashells.) a jack-in-the-box voiced by Howie Mendel (joy bunnies...) and a cowardly/stern cucoo clock. Still rather pointless chit-chatter...
      Then we get a brief economic lesson about second-hand stores: Mr. Winkle explains to the delivery man (who asks what makes him think he can sell the merchandise) that he finds things that are useful and what people need, and he pays very little so he can charge less than 50%. Honestly, this should've been 5 minutes into the special, but instead it is 14 minutes.
     The store owner then recognizes how the bear is unique, and places him in the front window with the other characters.
     And it is at this point that I have to shake my head at the premise and the execution... You see, the bear is physically incapable of smiling because of how he was made. But, he is alive. And the jack-in-the-box has a smile too... and he can frown. The bear should be able to fix his predicament, since he is alive.
     The store was at one point popular, but then a bridge was built and people went to the department stores instead (Damn you Wal'mart! No seriously, Damn you!).
     The bear then decides to get a chair to have a higher chance of being seen. The other toys tell him of Virgil, the bulldog in charge of security. The bear isn't really worried, and actually manages to be a little suave when chatting to the dog. (yeah, apparently dogs and toys can interact and speak to one another. Explanation? none given.) However he fails in his endeavor, and is forced into a banal chase... Luckily the owner comes down and put the bear back at the window with the chair.
     After a large amount of time, the bear's color fades, and he becomes Tangerine.
     A year passes, (apparently rent can wait until the end of the year) and the toys decide to improve the  look of the window, which consequently brings in more sales (Come on, everyone who plays Recettear knows that...). The mermaid clock is then sold to a guy from Grease., and Virgil gets outside. Later that night, the toys let Virgil back in, getting him on their side.
     They then decorate the window more, Virgil revealing that more decorations were hidden. The shop owner notices the window decorations, but blames his forgetfulness for not remembering putting them up.
     It once again comes close to Christmas, but the toys still aren't bought. They decide to go outside the store to take a look at the decorations, but get caught in a blizzard. Bear gets lost, but is found again by the owner. However, the bear mistakes him for Santa (he's wearing a costume) and all the other toys mistake him for Santa too.
     Then a super rich version of harry potter appears and wants to buy the bear. He is apparently a collector, and wants the bear and Jack in the box for $200, because of the defects. Winkle declines, calling the toys his family. Ridiculously sappy. Harry leaves, but says he'll bring some friends with him next time.

     Actually, the entire special is sappy, silly, and ridiculous...
     But it can be improved.

     First, eliminate all songs, and remove the narrator. They aren't necessary.
     Second, don't have the toys come to life until the bear is in the toy store and placed at the front. Reduce the length of the opening to 5 minutes at most.
     Replace the mermaid with a doll. Don't have her sold off. The mermaid never reappears, so it is a wasted character (along with the other doll and the monkey at the beginning. Makes me wonder if the writers just didn't wan to write a female character...) The doll shall instead be the cynical one, with the cucoo instead just being cowardly.
     Replace the jack-in-a-box with something less silly. Make it a nutcracker, and choose a less bouncy voice actor.
     Virgil should warm up to the toys when Bear talks with him first, rather than a "rescue." Show him up in some way, (intellect would be easy) and make him have a grudging respect for them.
     And finally, the bear... make him a determinator, someone who will not relent in what they are trying to accomplish, rather than being just a downer. It will make him more endearing, and even more likable.
     
      I actually remember the special differently from how it played out; the way I remembered it, the mermaid was returned (wife didn't like it or something) and the shop owner barely spoke, but acknowledged that the window was always changing, and that he thought the toys were always improving the window every night, and didn't sell them because of that.
     This special could be half an hour long, and would be significantly better, cutting it down from 49 minutes to 21 would cut down a lot of the fluff, make it seem quicker, and put more meaning behind the slow and quiet moments.


You know, I've heard this question asked before: "Why doesn't Hollywood try remaking the shitty movies, rather than the good ones?"
I would like to see someone improve this special. There is something in it to be made into a better special, if just put into the right hands.

This has been Fixer Sue; one week 'til Christmas, I'll see about getting some bigger specials to review. ^^